Kate Playground Barefoot

• YESTERDAY

Day as the normal .. had it not been for the panic attack ..

Never had one before .. not even imagine it was ..

not have school on Friday, but the math teacher wanted to take a course of recovery for those children who have as a subject in the fifth half .. I'm good at math, but having discovered that I am one of the subjects of the written examination of maturity, I asked if I could follow the same course, as a reality check .. And of course she accepted .. Well, by the 9e15 10e45 we should all be in school, in total we were 8 to 16 .. half! POOR PROF.

After the lesson I now live at home .. where I found that Mom was eating, to avoid just such questions as:

"eat?", "I'll make you something?", or "are you hungry?"

I have just said I was tired because I had not slept all night and that what I was going to bed ..

from 15 to 16 I was driving .. to return home after a bit of shopping for a friend of mine who have a birthday soon, I climbed up to our room ..

them and I realized that something was beginning not to go ..

I sat in the chair and I was staring at the blank for a 'Oretta and passes ..

I tried to get up quietly, but my legs began to tremble .. and I started to cry .. in mind and came to my mind a lot of negative things ..

I trembled and cried almost all night, with chills and severe pain in the chest .. I took a camomile soon as I could and I went to bed ..!

All I expect great things ..

"are strong"

"you'll make it"

"and it does not matter, someone like you can do anything"

"the important thing is that you will not disappoint"

"you have talent, you can not do it"

"you're good, beautiful and intelligent, that you care for?"

"I want to be like you"

Everyone thinks that I'm the top, which I have no problems, and I beam head before falling, but no one knows or it is really realize what they are, try and feel ..

I'm afraid to disappoint you all .. my boyfriend, my family, my friends, ANA ..

I'm starting to feel a inept .. useless and incapable .. -.-

I think the stress .. and the pressure .. and do not think I can not stand up to all this for much longer ..

Fasting cmq yesterday also went well .. usual two cappuccinos and a drop of juice just to make my mouth ACE!

• TODAY

fear ..

afraid to give ..

fear of another attack .. my legs are weak, I walk slowly, and reflected well .. are still slower than my legs ..

I ache head and my heart beats wildly after each type of movement.

At school everything ok .. and today shopping with my mother ..

I bought a can of redbull sugarfree tea and red fruits, the peach, vanilla and two other guys who can not remember .. right to vary a bit .. I drink the same old cup of tea and I'm getting tired, P

My father every time he sees me and asks me caress me kisses, and this just can not stand it .. I do not know why but my nerves .. is stronger than me ..!

Tomorrow they will go my way all day, is the birthday of my mother, on the one hand I regret not celebrate with her, but one part is good .. as equivalent to celebrate meal full of delicious food, and given that fasting on Monday that would have ruined everything ..!

DA

to school -> 2 cappuccinos and hot chocolate first

home -> TA red fruits .. very good ..!

My father asked me if I wanted something special for dinner or if I had eaten .. Answer? "I already ate" of course ..! Now I do not know what I'm doing .. maybe I start to study just two Oretta .. and if I can not go out tonight .. I relax ..! I did not really want to see people ..!

B UONA ANGELS NIGHT ..!

Girls