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"alessia but eat?" The teacher asks

"is Prof. .." I answer

"is not true .."

"is instead"

"I think not .."

"oh via Prof. .."

"alessia six edges are too thin .. .."

"is a true .. you will see some .." always kind of my friends

"I'm starting to worry"

"does not do so well .."

"I want to .. you're a ingamba girl, nice, polite and very nice, I do not want you to be evil "

"I'm not evil"

"well .. if you need me there, you have problems at home? With the boy? That's wrong?"

"nothing all the great"

No it is not true shit .. nothing goes to great .. I hate ..

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Everything goes WORSE ..

home

school

friends

family

boy

are destroyed ... do not take it anymore ..

Disappear?

not believe is the right solution ..

Tackling everything?

possible .. but not for me ..

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anger and happiness ..

and so he returned to Modena ..
was about to end .. forever ..!
Reason? the usual .. the family .. his family ..!
I did not really want to think about it now, maybe I'll explain later ..
We have clarified, I have granted him a last chance .. this waste even more of us will be nothing ..
although I love him to death I will no longer feel bad for him ..!

This weekend was better than expected ..
I had already imagined in the stomach with a mess of stuff to not feel despair swallowed by his mother and his grandmother to hear:

"you suck!"

"do not we see more .. you're all skin and bones .."

"where do you get to go on behind closed doors?"

not be viewed or hurt by my boyfriend ..
But no .. and you know why? simple .. I've never had dinner or lunch with him .. Just today, for clarify the mega fight, we had ice cream together ..

Usually my weekend ended in tears for his departure, and because I had recovered all the lost pounds during his absence not to arouse any suspicion .. and the week began in the throes of depression and the do not want to see anyone, but this time no ... No tears and the desire to be in the company .. I feel good and ... despite the small portion of vegetables and shrimp and mini slice of cake for lunch to celebrate the birthday of my mother, despite the ice cream .. even though I was in the fourth game to let go ..

I'm happy because maybe I have found self-control, desire to succeed .. I may have found a balance ..

After J. is broken down I'm back home, and anger of losing time fighting instead of standing together and laugh and shake one's arms and I baciandoci ' got an attack of hunger and anger " ..
keys of the bike in hand and very clear goal to be reached ..
not a ..
not two ..
but three ice cream / yogurt .. the most good in Lucca ... Mounted on the bike in motion e. ..

-WHAT THE FUCK DO ALESSIA? -

I scream in my mind buggy

wow ... I stop and think:

"and after that you'll be filled up with ice cream that you do? Cry, you will try to throw up, you'll be bad .. and why feel bad? For him? Enough .. The you found your balance .. and why send it all back to hell? Have you decided not?

the next shit bye bye baby .. Now it's up to him being sick, suffer you .. but it certainly will not stand bad for a fat girl and squalid not? "

After this monologue, I went to my room, but my mother's room was open and she was in bed sleeping :

"mom .. I can be there with you? "

" sure my fairy "

and after I put in the bed and clung to her I was asleep .. proud of me .. and I still am .. and I hope to continue to do so ..

ALL-YOU-CAN

small I go to bed ..

I sleep a lot!

bedtime goodies!

a kiss!

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Momentaccio person!

Today my mother came to get me to school .. like yesterday and brought me to eat at the Chinese / Japanese .. -.- "
you, with that smile so beautiful, with eyes full of joy ..

" I know that you like and I booked "I

"Thanks Mom, you're a treasure!" I really thought .. She is a treasure, but I also thought I had to fast again after lunch yesterday at the same restaurant and got knocked down .. .. I said ..

-ALE JUST TAKE LESS STUFF FROM YESTERDAY AND THEN TAKES OVER .. BUT REALLY RCOMINCI! -

and in fact I got less stuff, a small portion of ebi maki and salad with shrimp .. by .. is light stuff ..! ah yes .. but the ice cream after? uff .. that sucks .. Variegated nutella mozzarella yogurt red fruit and strawberry .. Oh God how I hate .. I had been in the car and I sent her to take because it was raining and she is back in the car .. "There's a little surprise"

"What?"

"Look"

"Ok!" ... I open .. OO " nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo . ..!!! The varied nutella ....!!!!!

cock cock fuck ..!

mom smiling "See?"
while I was thinking of committing suicide as "Yes Mom, thanks .. I really like the variegated .. :) Nutella good mom, thank you "

Well me and my mother when I was younger we were always together, then a teenager, everything changed, of course, we fought and often removed, and there we talked for months and months .. But now we live in one for the other ..! I can not say no, and if I do I always feel so guilty ..

Ok girls, go home, I asked Mom if she would go back tomorrow to pick if it had rained, she nodded, and I asked if we could please just go home without going to share eating tips, and she makes me laugh "some love ..! as you want .. also because, let's face it .. the money does not pass the mutual" .. Breathing a sigh of relief I smile and do .. "Great .. also because you know I'm on a diet" and she
"is tight I know I know, I have to put me there too!! Then come on, if the Chinese do not take fried stuff is not so much fat and But unless the Chinese always better not to exaggerate "
" Mommy I love you ... " and they ran a huge laugh from both of them ..

After this interview I went on .. on my exercise bike .. and I did half an hour's ride, keeping in mind that even this morning with the class, and of the hour. physics we went to ride on the wall ..
washed and ironed, the doorbell rings ..

OH MY
GOD .. -.- " My mother-in-law and my sister ..!

"Hello how are you? We came to see how you are, we learned of the incident .. "

" Better, thanks "I replied

-HERE .. WELL .. I WAS EVEN BETTER BEFORE YOU SEE YOUR smileys Hunting-

.. Anyway .. I thought
A school cmq ok ... from what you've read The
not really ok, but this afternoon I resumed fasting ... until my boyfriend returned from Modena, unless you withdraw the license. . On the one hand I hope it will not give them taken away because it is a month since we've seen, but on the other side .. well .. boh .. if not I can continue with my fasting cmq .. But I can at least try to combine both things ...

are reassembled in a car accident today .. the fear I went, not quite .. But since there is no more jitters in the legs I have taken a big step ..
I did a walk alone .. I am proud of having overcome the fear .. although often still see the scene, and I often think of the disappointment caused to my .. and myself ..!

kiss beautiful ..

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Girls .. I'm terrible



Yesterday was a wonderful day .. to a certain point ..!
I took driver's license .. so you can imagine the endless joy for me and my parents .. well .. the joy was short .. In the evening I had an accident ..! To prevent two assholes (let me tell you) did a front I am the way and I found myself stuck in a wall ..

machine? DESTROYED .. I? the same! I still shake my legs .. All I do is review the scene, the camera in the smoke .. hear the bang .. I still fear him ..!

Unfortunately fasting was interrupted .. it was a week .. I wanted to continue, but this morning my mother came to take me to school and to calm down, because believe me they are still shocked, I said that I would take her out to eat at Japanese / Chinese, I told her I was not hungry, but She has insisted saw that I was not yet very well and I did not want to give her one more disappointment .. So orderly arrival .. you a mess of things, that is, but few on overload .. I took things Japanese, sushi, which is cmq rice and raw fish and a salad with shrimp .. and after all we both got an ice cream .. 3gusti .. mozzarella strawberry and red fruit .. The girls I know I should not have .. I know! I apologize .. really! lost ..! I was not greedy because cmq sushi I have not eaten all .. half we did pack up and we took her home .. I did not binge is true .. I "just" eating ..! I hope not to have disappointed .. I really hope it did not disappoint any of you ..! Unfortunately, the certainty of having disappointed ANA haunts me, like pictures of the accident ..!

The first thing I thought after coming out of the car and seeing his condition was "because I'm not dead?" Why? "
I do not get up from the head that thought .. All I do is cry .. I do not pass the fear ..!
I just want to go back ..
are so low ..
I just came to my place have done nothing but repeat that I love, that they were happy that I was fine .. who are proud of me and that is their hope .. but I feel that I have disappointed in .. As I am disappointed in myself ..!

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• YESTERDAY

Day as the normal .. had it not been for the panic attack ..

Never had one before .. not even imagine it was ..

not have school on Friday, but the math teacher wanted to take a course of recovery for those children who have as a subject in the fifth half .. I'm good at math, but having discovered that I am one of the subjects of the written examination of maturity, I asked if I could follow the same course, as a reality check .. And of course she accepted .. Well, by the 9e15 10e45 we should all be in school, in total we were 8 to 16 .. half! POOR PROF.

After the lesson I now live at home .. where I found that Mom was eating, to avoid just such questions as:

"eat?", "I'll make you something?", or "are you hungry?"

I have just said I was tired because I had not slept all night and that what I was going to bed ..

from 15 to 16 I was driving .. to return home after a bit of shopping for a friend of mine who have a birthday soon, I climbed up to our room ..

them and I realized that something was beginning not to go ..

I sat in the chair and I was staring at the blank for a 'Oretta and passes ..

I tried to get up quietly, but my legs began to tremble .. and I started to cry .. in mind and came to my mind a lot of negative things ..

I trembled and cried almost all night, with chills and severe pain in the chest .. I took a camomile soon as I could and I went to bed ..!

All I expect great things ..

"are strong"

"you'll make it"

"and it does not matter, someone like you can do anything"

"the important thing is that you will not disappoint"

"you have talent, you can not do it"

"you're good, beautiful and intelligent, that you care for?"

"I want to be like you"

Everyone thinks that I'm the top, which I have no problems, and I beam head before falling, but no one knows or it is really realize what they are, try and feel ..

I'm afraid to disappoint you all .. my boyfriend, my family, my friends, ANA ..

I'm starting to feel a inept .. useless and incapable .. -.-

I think the stress .. and the pressure .. and do not think I can not stand up to all this for much longer ..

Fasting cmq yesterday also went well .. usual two cappuccinos and a drop of juice just to make my mouth ACE!

• TODAY

fear ..

afraid to give ..

fear of another attack .. my legs are weak, I walk slowly, and reflected well .. are still slower than my legs ..

I ache head and my heart beats wildly after each type of movement.

At school everything ok .. and today shopping with my mother ..

I bought a can of redbull sugarfree tea and red fruits, the peach, vanilla and two other guys who can not remember .. right to vary a bit .. I drink the same old cup of tea and I'm getting tired, P

My father every time he sees me and asks me caress me kisses, and this just can not stand it .. I do not know why but my nerves .. is stronger than me ..!

Tomorrow they will go my way all day, is the birthday of my mother, on the one hand I regret not celebrate with her, but one part is good .. as equivalent to celebrate meal full of delicious food, and given that fasting on Monday that would have ruined everything ..!

DA

to school -> 2 cappuccinos and hot chocolate first

home -> TA red fruits .. very good ..!

My father asked me if I wanted something special for dinner or if I had eaten .. Answer? "I already ate" of course ..! Now I do not know what I'm doing .. maybe I start to study just two Oretta .. and if I can not go out tonight .. I relax ..! I did not really want to see people ..!

B UONA ANGELS NIGHT ..!

Girls

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everything ok? My fasting

more ..! and so far so good ..! He began to have dizzy spells .. and a little tired and not want to ..! Well .. I would say it is normal!
But in a sense, these things make me feel good .. They make me feel strong .. because I am succeeding in my attempt ..: DO NOT EAT ..
I admit the temptation is always around the corner .. but luck can change course ..! I'm making
realize that the time when I'm away from the blog, and then away from you, I was just weak because of your absence .. Without you, in practice, I AM NOTHING .. !

After four years of absolute indifference (for whatever stupid reason) I found an old friend .. And thanks to guess who or what?

through ANA .. :)

-> Anydevil .. ♥ .. thanks for all

by:

2 cappuccinos ..

first hot chocolate .. all without sugar

2O3 teas ..

Oo you believe it? I had not even noticed that I have so few things .. !

- cmq candy laxative I took around 4, I hope tonight to take effect .. -

I will weigh tomorrow morning (like every morning after all) and I'll make a point of the situation!

let me know of your day ..! smuuuuuuak;)

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What's New?
no ..!

:)

the mornings at school now taking place in the same way .. strolls through the corridors .. jokes with Prof. .. hours taking pictures stupid .. stupid jokes .. and imbecile speeches between classmates .. BEAUTIFUL .. you ..! but the examination is approaching and no one hears the winks of the upcoming trials of maturity and the need of having to study a pass mark for a decent ...
.... Apart from me ..! but I can not study at all .. I try, but it is useless .. arrives in the evening I have not done nothing! okay ..!

fasting proceeds to wonder ..

today I think is either the second or third day ..

boh ..! no matter ..

the only thing that matters is that I can slowly reach my goals! :)

without then destroyed in an instant everything!

• this morning and I had. therefore natural to hold and do not fall to the ground like a sack of potatoes than usual cappuccino for breakfast I drank hot chocolate in the recreation of the vending machines .. I typed the key-no sugar-but we all know .. at least it puts the same .. of course not ... I mixed! no lunch, a snack another cappuccino and now I'm here to update the blog and message with my boyfriend ..!

He is military .. I do not know if you remember ..

Well now a month since we've seen .. -.- "

the last time I went to see him in Modena ..

weekend to say the least beautiful and romantic ..!

Anyway do not even come back this weekend .. and this one part is good .. because I will not be obliged to dine at his house .. but .. well .. imagine the other side right? ♥ ♥ I miss : (

In September, stop and eventually come back to life .. always

the thing scares me a little because I have to learn to handle two things at once .. that is .. but by the ANA and JONATHAN. . I can do not you think?

kiss kiss

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prejudice to all ..!

-.- ".. what about the morning began with a mega blasphemy that .. I am still surprised that the sky has not fallen .. but .. well, it did not sound the alarm .. and my question is:

> why? \u0026lt;

yet I had set last night .. mah ..

ipertecnologicici these phones that are now .. that can not be long to make coffee or clean up if we want to exaggerate even make me laugh my ass then when they fail to do these things .. tr that the other is basic ..

cmq English class skipped ..

not bad considering that the professor can not see .. this a witch? here .. But in withdrawal of Billo too long hour never ..

The morning was held at school, as so often lately, between a joke and a laugh .. and let's face it .. also between a gossip and more ..

How strange people ..!

critical .. criticism .. and criticism .. you disgraced in every way and then make outrageous mistakes and the same, perhaps, who has criticized you up to shortly before ..!

with food for now all ok .. to wonder .. as I had decided to do, since yesterday is that I do not touch anything solid ..

2 cappuccinos and teas

2 ..

tonight mother opts to make polenta and melted brie inside .. LOVE polenta .. I do not think that coming down to eat : (: ( Ugh!

let me know how it is going to the day! :)

kiss kiss

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good afternoon dear ..
or at least I hope it is for you ...!

The morning did not start the great ..

so .. accordingly .. not even a great start to the week ..

I was promised that I would not weigh this morning ..

That shit .. unfortunately I could not resist the lure of balance ..

SUCKS .. SUCKS .. SUCKS ..!

I decided .. CONVINCED more than ever .. ANA! for love .. for life ..!

Well the DA girls of today is not very rich ... LUCKILY ..!!!

only two cappuccinos, a sweet licorice and mint strong:):)

I started treatment the beautician

.. and tonight I'll be in your room until after dinner. . and then if I will come down to watch a little tv ..

:) As you

was your day?

KISS ..

WITH LOVE alessia

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... ... We rang! ..

from now start my new life ..!

ANA i love you ♥